Write Someone You Love This Holiday Season

The holidays are supposedly about connection. About gratitude. About telling the people we love that they matter.

Yet most of us will spend the season stressed about gifts, obligations, logistics. We'll see family and friends, but we won't really talk to them. We'll send mass texts saying "Happy Holidays" to our entire contact list. We'll like their photos. We'll be connected, but not connecting.

This year, do something different. Write a letter to someone you love.

The Gift Nobody Asks For

If you ask someone what they want for the holidays, they'll probably say something practical. A book they've been meaning to read. Nice socks. Gift cards.

Almost no one will say "A letter telling me why I matter to you." But if you give them one, it might be the only gift they remember years later.

According to research from UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, expressing gratitude through writing creates lasting positive effects for both the writer and recipient, strengthening relationships and improving overall well-being.

Material gifts get used up, worn out, forgotten. Words—the right words, given with intention—stay with us.

Who to Write To

Write to someone who made this year easier. The friend who listened when you needed to talk. The family member who showed up when you needed help. The person who believed in you when you weren't sure you believed in yourself.

Write to someone you don't see often. The friend who moved away. The relative you only see at holidays. The person you keep meaning to reach out to but never quite do.

Write to someone who might be lonely. The older family member who doesn't get many visitors. The friend going through a hard time. The person who always seems fine but might not be.

Or write to someone simply because you love them, and you want them to know it.

What to Say

Don't overthink it. You're not trying to write something profound. You're trying to write something true.

Tell them what they mean to you. Be specific. Don't say "You're a great friend"—say "I still think about that night you drove two hours just to sit with me when I was going through the breakup. That mattered."

Tell them what you notice about them. The qualities others might overlook. The small kindnesses they probably don't think twice about. The ways they make the world a little better just by being in it.

Tell them about a memory you share. Something only the two of you would remember. Something that makes you smile.

Tell them what you're grateful for. Not in a general way, but specifically. What they did. When they did it. Why it mattered.

Why It Matters More This Season

The holidays can be hard. For people who've lost someone. For people far from family. For people going through difficult times. For people who feel forgotten.

A letter says: I thought of you. You're not forgotten. You matter.

In a season that's supposed to be about togetherness but often feels isolating, that message means everything.

Research from the American Psychological Association shows that feeling connected to others is one of the strongest predictors of mental health and well-being, especially during emotionally charged seasons like the holidays.

Your letter might be the reminder someone needs that they're seen, valued, loved.

The Best Time to Write

Now. Not when you have more time. Not when you can think of the perfect words. Not when you're less busy.

The holidays are busy for everyone. But busy-ness isn't the opposite of caring. It's often an excuse for not showing we care.

Set aside thirty minutes. Find some paper. Write to one person. Just one.

Tell them what they mean to you. Thank them for being in your life. Wish them well.

That's it. It doesn't need to be long or eloquent. It just needs to be real.

What You'll Get Back

Maybe they'll write back. Maybe they'll call. Maybe they'll just carry it with them, reading it again when they need to remember they matter.

But you'll get something too. The act of writing—of pausing long enough to think about what someone means to you, of putting it into words—changes something. It clarifies what matters. It reminds you what you have.

We spend so much time during the holidays focused on what we need to do, buy, plan, organize. Writing a letter shifts the focus to what we already have: People we love. People who love us. Connections that matter.

A Different Kind of Tradition

What if this became your tradition? Every holiday season, you write one letter to someone who matters. Not a card with a pre-printed message. A real letter. Thoughtful. Personal. True.

Over the years, you'd build something. A practice of gratitude. A record of what matters. A way of staying connected to the people who make your life worth living.

The holidays don't need more stuff. They need more meaning. More connection. More honesty about what we feel and why people matter.

This year, give someone the gift of knowing they're loved. Write them a letter.